The Adult Attachment Program Training

The Adult Attachment Program is happy to continue our Webinar Series for $25 suggested donation but you can contribute less or more depending on your means. Webinar 2 – All About Preoccupied Attachment The Preoccupied Attachment Style The first of the insecure attachment styles that we are going to discuss in adulthood is Preoccupied attachment. The result of preoccupied caregiving is the child having an over-involvement and identification with the parents state of mind. Parental responsiveness is inconsistent. This could be for several reasons; perhaps the parents have demanding careers which take them away from the necessary attunement needed at a young age. Perhaps the caregiver struggles with an addiction, or the mother and father are in a stressed relationship with regular arguments and fights. These are just examples of ways that could create the dynamic of caregivers being only inconsistently available. The child must learn what to do (or what not to do) in order to get its needs met. Sometimes they learn to throw a temper tantrum as the only way of getting attention. Preoccupied parents have a chronic misattunement to the exploratory system in the child. Exploration is a perceived threat, as it takes the child away from the needs of the parent. The child is expected to regulate the parent’s state of mind, and thus becomes chronically hypervigilant to the state of mind of others. As the anxious/resistant child grows into adulthood, now a preoccupied adult, there remains an inhibition in their exploratory behavior which interferes with healthy self development. On the AAI, Preoccupied parents were deeply absorbed in their own troubles and concerns about attachment. The interviews were excessive, confused, angry, or passive. They demonstrated a fear of abandonment, helplessness, and pervasive anxiety. Their past emotions would overwhelm them in the present. They would alternate between discussing childhood episodes to a current attachment grievance. Quoting, imitating, childlike language, vague nonsense words, run-on sentences and fragments pervade the interview. Intense fear, anger, or passivity in past and in current attachment relationships prevents coherence and collaborative discourse. Their speech tends to be confused, tangential, lengthy, and discouraging of autonomy. If the preoccupied adult presents for treatment, having a consistent focus on the self experience is of utmost importance. They grew up with an outside-in orientation, taking in what is happening around them as a way of survival and getting their needs met. In therapy, we work toward developing an inside-out orientation, where one looks inward to find the answers and have them expressed outwardly. The therapist should keep a consistent calming presence, even in the rise and fall of coherence in the patient. Selectively attuning to exploratory words and behaviors allows the preoccupied person to begin to think of exploration as a possibility. This is done within the Three Pillars system. As an example, below I will type a script of a generic session one might have with a preoccupied adult within the IPF framework. So the goals are as follows: Correct for outside in orientation Regulate child’s anxiety IPFs who are attuned to a range of emotions Encourage exploratory behavior with parents support